I've gotten back to working on a story that I started a while back. If you want to know more about it specifically, go to my post titled 'New Story'. If you want to view the part of it that I actually posted, view 'A cliffhanger'.
Anyway, I've been trying to work on my skills at describing environments. Here's one of the scenes I especially buckled down on.
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The
darkness was absolute.
Nothing
was visible. The blackness seemed like a tangible weight –
crushing, smothering. You could cut it with a knife, it was so thick.
“I am surprised.”
The
voice was quiet, but the tone hard and sharp. It seemed to slice
through the perpetual night, slamming into Falahan's chest. He
staggered and lost his balance, falling to the floor. If there was a
floor. He couldn't even see his hand, not even if it was plastered
against his face.
“The
failure is mine alone, Lord.” He gritted between clenched teeth.
“The responsibility is none others'.”
“I
know.” Replied the voice. “But your failure is pardonable. It is,
in fact, expected. I did not think of him to surface here.”
“Perhaps
more Servants are needed, my Lord.”
A
soft laugh echoed in the pitch-black. “Were there a thousand of
you, Falahan, the result would not be different. And you cannot
return to the mortal world for a century, because of your defeat.”
Falahan
bowed his head. “What are your orders, Lord?”
The
reply was silence, silence that seemed to stretch into an eternity.
Falahan tried not to shiver. The cavern – or place, or whatever it
was – was also deathly cold, lifeless. Even the air around him felt
dead.
Finally
the voice spoke. “Extend my summons to Gereth.”
“Yes,
my Lord.”
The
silence that followed was one of dismissal. Falahan spun on his heel
and marched away – towards the door, he hoped.
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Aaand that's it. Let me know if you like it, or if you've got suggestions on writing scenes like this. I appreciate the input.
Literal smile when I read the phrase, "You could cut it with a knife, it was so thick." I never would have thought to put cave-darkness in that manner.
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